Thomas W. Phelan, PhD
Author Interview - Thomas W. Phelan, PhD
Author of Stop That Chewing!
Misophonia (or 4S Syndrome) is a strong aversion primarily to the mouth noises and movements involved with other people eating, drinking, or chewing. Oddly enough, for many people these sounds and sights can provoke not only aggravation and disgust, but their reaction can also blossom into rage and panic. For persons with misophonia, this strong and unexpected reaction usually comes as an extremely unpleasant and upsetting surprise in their lives. Age of onset is usually around 8–12 years of age, and the original “trigger” producer is often a family member who is eating at the dinner table.
As time goes by, misophonia tends to get worse. Auditory and visual triggers can spread and intensify. Triggers can come to include sipping, slurping, breathing, forks clinking on plates, throat clearing, gum popping, and—unfortunately for new mothers—the slurps and burps of a newborn on bottle or breast. Adults and children with this disorder describe it as anything from a periodic nuisance, to a constant daily struggle, to something that prevents them from leaving home altogether.
Stop That Chewing!
• How to avoid, manage, or reduce misophonic trigger sounds
• How to expose and change disturbing thoughts about self and others
• How to talk to family and friends comfortably about 4S Syndrome
• How to employ relaxation and medication alternatives
• How to create your own 5-Second Plan for trigger reactions
• How to avoid the Entitlement/Villain paradox with kids
In Stop That Chewing!, you will learn practical tips and strategies for managing misophonia in both adults and children. Whether it’s the sound of chewing, typing, or breathing that sets you or someone else off, this book will provide critical insights, advice, and support. Don’t let offensive noise control your life!
Author Interview - Thomas W. Phelan, PhD
Author I draw inspiration from:
Mark Twain
Author Interview - Thomas W. Phelan, PhD | Author I Draw Inspiration From
Favorite place to read a book:
Bed
Book character I’d like to be stuck in an elevator with:
Mark Twain Roughing It He might not want to talk to me!
Author Interview - Thomas W. Phelan, PhD | Book Character I’d Like to be Stuck in an Elevator With
The moment I knew I wanted to become an author:
A couple of years into practicing clinical psychology. Everybody wants to write a book!
Hardback, paperback, ebook or audiobook:
Hardback too bulky. Paperback great! ebook great for travel, but not for me otherwise.
The last book I read:
Dorothy Sayers Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club
Author Interview - Thomas W. Phelan, PhD | The Last Book I Read
Pen & paper or computer:
Comes directly from my work with patients. Repeat the same successful formula with parents hundreds of times and it's ingrained in your memory. Makes writing easy.
Book character I think I’d be best friends with:
Robert Powel Zen and Reality. Want to pick this guy's brain.
Author Interview - Thomas W. Phelan, PhD | Book Character I’d be Best Friends With
If I weren’t an author, I’d be a:
I'll stick with clinical psychology!
Favorite decade in fashion history:
I'm a fashion illiterate! No idea.
Place I’d most like to travel:
Northern Wisconsin. My history, kayak, bike, walk, peace, beauty.
My signature drink:
You won't believe this: Mix White zin, sauv blanc, and cranberry/grape juice, then add three raspberries!
Favorite artist:
More a genre: Acrylic landscape painting. Love to paint.
Number one on my bucket list:
Back to northern Wisconsin!
Anything else you'd like to add:
Like to play music and mix songs on Garageband. Raised goats and chickens for 15 years.
About Thomas W. Phelan, PhD:
Thomas W. Phelan, PhD
Dr. Thomas W. Phelan is a clinical psychologist, author, filmmaker, and educator best known for creating the internationally recognized parenting program 1-2-3 Magic. Over a career spanning more than four decades, Dr. Phelan has devoted his professional life to helping parents, teachers, children, and adults manage behavior, reduce family stress, and build healthier relationships through practical, down-to-earth psychology.
After earning his PhD in psychology, Dr. Phelan established a private clinical practice that would continue for approximately 45 years. During that time, he worked extensively with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. His practice became known for its practical orientation, emphasizing clear communication, behavioral strategies, emotional understanding, and family balance rather than overly complicated theories or endless debate. Parents often sought his help for common but stressful challenges such as tantrums, sibling rivalry, homework battles, bedtime struggles, oppositional behavior, anxiety, and family conflict.
Throughout his career, Dr. Phelan became especially interested in the ways everyday family interactions can unintentionally escalate conflict. He observed that many parents relied too heavily on reasoning, arguing, lecturing, and emotional intensity when dealing with children’s behavior. In response, he developed a calmer, more structured approach to discipline that emphasized consistency, nonverbal communication, emotional self-control, and what he often described as “behavioral compliance first, talking second.” These ideas eventually formed the foundation of his best-known work, 1-2-3 Magic.
Originally published in the 1990s, 1-2-3 Magic became one of the most widely read parenting books in the world. The program’s simplicity and practicality appealed to millions of overwhelmed parents looking for effective alternatives to yelling, spanking, nagging, and endless negotiation. The method focused on helping adults stop undesirable behavior through calm signaling, consistent daily routines, while also encouraging positive family relationships and emotional connection. Over the years, the book has been translated into multiple languages and has sold millions of copies internationally.
In addition to his writing, Dr. Phelan expanded his educational work into filmmaking and video production. He produced and directed five full-length parenting films designed to help families and educators better understand child behavior and discipline techniques. These productions translated psychological concepts into accessible, real-life demonstrations that parents could easily apply at home. His work in film reflected his long-standing interest in communication—not only through words, but also through tone of voice, facial expression, routines, modeling, and other forms of nonverbal interaction that shape family life every day.
Beyond his professional accomplishments, Dr. Phelan has maintained a remarkably wide range of personal interests and hobbies. An enthusiastic outdoorsman, he enjoys kayaking, biking, and hiking, activities that reflect his appreciation for both physical movement and the natural world. He has also long enjoyed gardening, finding satisfaction in the patience and hands-on care required to cultivate plants and outdoor spaces.
